I was chatting with a friend the other day and mentioned that truly, I’m an introvert. If you know the me that is passionate about photography or the me that works at my best friend’s gym, you may think exactly opposite. It’s actually true though! I enjoy being by myself to recharge over a group of people. I love to create but am not as comfortable promoting myself. I prefer to complete tasks on my own versus in a team environment.
I’m not anti social, not in the least. I LOVE people, adore people actually, as well as my interactions with them. I prefer a discussion that goes to a deeper level over small talk and can get emotionally invested in that conversation easily. I may be more cautious than spontaneous, I make more calculated risks rather than just blindly jumping into something, and I value being home and dare I say can get overwhelmed by certain situations or even by my own thoughts sometimes.
I feel like I am moving into yet another stage of self discovery, one where I am realizing that who I am inherently is OK! The traits that make me, me, don’t mean that I am wrong, or broken, or that others are wrong, but those traits just demonstrate how we are just all different and thrive off of different situations. I think it’s easy to look at others with judgement on what makes them different from us. We are all guilty of doing that, no matter how hard we try not to.
My trip to Kansas a couple of weeks ago ended up being such a beautiful get away that really was amazing for my head space. We were removed from “real life”, surrounded by loving family, and enjoying a peaceful and quiet town. Chris and I had amazing quality time together. We drove back roads complete with cows and rolling green fields to get to a deserted golf course (deserted only because it was a rainy cold day). It was so zen for me, so slow and not asking anything of me other than to just “be” and take it all in through my observations. I slowed down. I realized after reading an amazing blog that I possibly have an addiction to “busy”. I am working on this….learning that if I’m not moving every minute doing something visibly productive, I am still a valuable person. That sounds so weird to write out, but it’s definitely one thing I struggle with. Sitting still.
This… just chillin in a field of green, watching what goes on around her. I love the feeling that this picture brings me as it takes me back to where I was, and was feeling when I made it.
I am a self driven person 100%, but I am wanting to become more mindful of making space to just be.
This is one of my favorite image of Chris from the trip. So happy, on a deserted and beautifully lush golf course, him in his element playing with “Pedersen rules”, and being with his dad and brother. I rode along for 6 holes before I ventured off on my own to look for interesting things to photograph in a brand new visual meca. It was peaceful, meaningful and completely satisfying. I was at peace, just being.
Do you have something that you struggle with too? I know we all do, but sometimes it is hard to face, or even identify since it is just part of who you know ourselves to be.
Thank you for stopping by!
…until next week… <3